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    • a wet reading group
    • From my window I could see a gas station It actually blocked my whole view, making the only thing I could see the signboard and antenna, which I always imagined to be the moon instead Because I couldn’t see the real one I looked at it every night before I went to bed The signboard flickered, there were silver and blue decorations all around the property, moving along the rhythm of the wind My pen broke in my pocket The fabric turned dark blue A pocket folds and unfolds You can store a fragment you found, a moment you froze Moments and ruptures Fragments and cracks Flows and folds Putting my hand in my pocket I felt the wet ink on my fingers Everything I touched got a little dot Putting my hand in the pocket I felt the sticky oil on my fingers Dripping even, when I got my hand out Rip some paper Take a sip of water Cough three times Make a note Take notice Three notes Like a jotting Err a bit Take a sip Take three sips of water Three drops of water Dots of ink An ellipsis is the omission from speech or writing or sound or image that are superfluous or invisible or able to be understood from contextual clues To leave out Typographically it’s literally three dots The fact that it is there makes it part of the story It shows: here was something, but I chose not to mention it I’m not sure though if mention is the right word The text becomes fluid To hold someone In the hold To hold on Since I started writing about water and leakage, the water pipe in my apartment broke And in all my painful memories the floor turned into water, but the furniture didn’t even move And when I walked past a river last week, it flooded, making the streets part of the river, making the trees stand in water until the part where the leaves will come again in a month To fold a layer that either soaks or blurs […] looking for presence and so often only find what it knew it would see […] Find with a drop of water Go there and hold someone The rupture Or the hold Three drops, three dots A drop of water, a moment to breathe To hold, to put on hold, to keep, to seek Like a jotting The background My back, the ground Do you see the reflection? It took two weeks to dry… can you believe that? And the other picture has already been wet for two weeks now Like a leakage in the plot Part of the story But omitted or silenced Shifts, slippage, such slidings making gaps, rends, holes Not an absence though Rather an undoing […]What is not put into the scene What is put into the non-scene What is not enough put into scene[…] Put into notes “Make pictures while it leaks Make a picture to leak on” It said in my notes Some enters, a few jumps To hold on To put on hold To err in the hold
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    • If I sing, will you record? If I sing, will you pick up the phone?

      Take this to be a living room

      I’ll take the windowsill as the horizon and the lamp as the sun

      The backseat of a car, a recording of a recording, a recording of a friend

      I’ll take the envelope of all the traces I left behind in the city, or anywhere else, or anyone or anything could have done

      A fold in the fabric A talk in the bar, where people explain the solar system with their feet, hands, and glasses

      If anyone sings, I will record If anything sings, I will pick up the phone

      The radio’s on, a frame’s trembling, an envelope opens

      Searching for a frequency: the making of a sentence

      Lick your finger, flip a page

      A handshake, a cough, a table: the making of a dance

      Alright, two steps Play that sound To envelop the words

      Quick, let me buy some paper Quick sketch, I’ll soon forget

      The opening of a bed sheet The radio’s on It is standing on the porch, but I’ll move it inside

      Writing a letter: the address is somewhere where I wrote it down

      You know, when we took that backseat snapshot I recorded you and then transmitted it to the radio, so we could hear you on the radio The sound in the right angle

      A singing voice, a walk outside, a window view: making sense

      A folding page, a note written on the back of a used envelope The inside isn’t anything more than the outside

      A living room, a lamp, a chair, a windowsill: a sentence

      The more I frame, the less I measure

      One turn, two hands A gentle cough, a wink, a sigh: an instrument

      I think I heard it before, that recording of a friend The start of a recording, the moving of a set You hear me testing the recorder, the set itself moves, it has nothing to do with me There is one pedestal, two screens, maybe a folding chair

      It continues The radio’s on

      The keeping up with things: frames, tables, outside

      The opening of a door, the porch with a radio playing there You or me heard it before

      Anyone, anything: the making of a sentence

      A living room, a lamp, a windowsill

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    • De eerste keer dat mijn kameraad er was Vier maanden geleden De dagen plakten aan elkaar met zweet en suiker Daartussen kocht ik een klompje klei En begon te kleien Het naaktmodel dat ik zo goed kende kwam drie uur lang voor me poseren Ik had hem al twee jaar niet meer gezien, maar kende zijn rondingen nog goed Ik had ook mijn trui uitgetrokken en broekspijpen opgerold; de enkels bloot Het daarbij gehouden De ramen stonden open Ik begon zijn gezette torso na te maken Al snel kon ik zijn lichaam alleen nog maar in mijn handen houden En niet meer in model brengen op de tafel, zoals daarvoor En langzaam was het niet meer de koude materie Maar de warme vriendschap Zoals in mijn droom in dezelfde grijze ruimte met dezelfde grote grijze ramen zat ik ook Maar dan twee verdiepingen lager en in iemands huis Met veel mensen tegen de muren leunend en een dekbed zo groot als de vloer over ons heen Tussen het dekbed en de vloer alleen maar Deeg, gek genoeg kneden Tot het in vogeltjes en konijntjes veranderde Het duurde de hele winter Zo ongeveer tot de lente kwam Ik heb nu al zo veel versies van mijn kameraad Van een parachute tot een kiezel Van Aarde Ver Loren Zo heette echt een jongen Er was ook een jongen op een koffer Hij gebruikte het als stoel toen we een gezelschapsspel speelden Hij had de nacht ervoor over me gedroomd, zei die Er was een jongen met een trolley En zijn vriend was een jongen met een tas in de trein Een spoor van bruinharige meisjes achterlatend Ik dacht aan hen en liep over straat Zag een stelletje met opengeragde spijkerbroeken Twee mensen, drie knieën Ik heb nog wel één slaapplek vrij, voor jullie allebei Soms is je bed een eiland of een fort Je maakt je klaar voor zes tot tien uur liggen Tanden schoon Zodat geen bacteriën zich kunnen verspreiden In de tussentijd Kleren zonder ritsen of knopen Kussens en dekens Zand van de voeten geveegd Zweet tussen mijn kiezen En suiker tussen mijn huid
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    • Beep beep – Hello? – Hey this is Anouk. – Hello! – Ehh.. I was wondering wether you could remember the time I went to you after we broke up to get my stuff and I brought those four beers. – Hm hm – Did I tell you what happened in the subway that evening? – What did you say.. you told me what? – Did I tell you what happened in the subway that evening? – On that same day? – Yes, when I was on my way to you. – I really can’t remember. – Well I had those four beers in my bag and then I was… – What did you have in your bag? – I had four beers in my bag. Because we… – Hm hm – Well then I was writing someone a text saying ‘I’m in the subway now and I have four beers in my bag.’ – Yes. – And on that very moment that I was writing four, the man sitting across me shouted “BINGO!” – Bingo? – Yes! But then I panicked, because I thought maybe that man is able to read minds and he is playing a kind of bingo-game in his head. – … – Or, I don’t know, I thought maybe this is a prank… or in any case I didn’t trust him. – You’re joking right? Because you haven’t told me. – No, I’m not joking! This really happened. – Really? – Yes! – Oh. – But I found it so strange and creepy you know, because why would somebody just shout out bingo? – Yes, that’s really strange. – Who plays bingo anyways? – Excuse me? – Who plays bingo anyways? – Yes, and especially in the subway. – Yes, but I thought I had told you because normally when I experience something like that I’ll immediately tell it. – I know. But no you didn’t tell me. I’m certain. – Ok, maybe it didn’t make such an impression on me then. – Yes or maybe you had other things on your mind once you got here. – Yes exactly. – Yes hm. – Are you studying? – Eh.. Well I actually should start studying. It hasn’t been a productive day. – Oh. – But what was the experiment?
    • I’m playing Mikado with alive men A man on top of a man to paralyze each other A man on top of a man in a white horse Tail in my face/Looking at me while I yawn Men thighs stuffed in hooves Dwelling in fabric, for a while nothing to do Shouting at each other, outside is an orchestra Whistling at each other, and melody refreshes Steal constructions next to the trip/stairs Sounds like a plastic glove over frozen chicken Trumpets, trombones on the porch Woman asks: “That horse over there, is my man in it?”
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    • I WOULD THAT BE A PROBLEM?
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anouk mirte hoogendoorn
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Collection of stories other people told me.

CRÈME FRAÎCHE

NACHTRUST

EEN AANDENKEN

BROODJES OVER DE SCHUTTING

NICE SHOES

DE VAKANTIE-CAVIA

ERVARINGEN DIE DEEL JE

GEHEUGEN

UITINGEN VAN LIEFDE

 

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